The things I hear

“I woke up this morning thinking I had two noses.”   – Sid

 

“I’m going to resume my life tomorrow when I’m less stressed.” –  Prairie

 

Rachel, upon observing a hornet-like insect hovering outside the window “That thing looks like it wants to drill into your soul.”

 

“I’m very used to women liking me.  That’s just how it goes.” – Sidney (He honestly said this without the least bit of arrogance.  He simply recognizes that women of all ages appreciate being treated with respect.)

 

A dialogue between Sid and me, soooo typical . . .

Me – “I love you.”

Sid – “Knowing you as I do, loving me is the best thing for you.”

Me – laugh because really, what can I say to that?

Sid – “You laugh?  It sounds silly, I know, but do you doubt me?”

 

A family dialogue that was about the misinformed reports of teenagers growing horns because of cell phone use . . . and that wandered off track . . .

Rachel – “In the animal kingdom, males tend to have more horny features.”

A short pause, where we all try to contain the guffaws …

Sid – “You have no idea how true that is.”

Rachel, turning as red as her hair – “Let me rephrase that.  I was trying to say that in the animal kingdom, males tend to have horns, but the females don’t.  Like goats.”